Maria Jesus Marin Lopez
I decided to truly face this darkness, which obviously, was coming from the subconscious as a way of freeing myself so that I could embrace and be present in my wonderful life.
A good friend of mine recommended homeopathy, as she is very passionate about it. I made an appointment with the local homeopath. After a very healing session he gave me a remedy to take twice daily. This was the beginning of me becoming conscious of what this overwhelming sadness was about.
I’m very connected to my mother. When she is not feeling well I feel her symptoms as if they were mine. When I do healing on me she gets better. Somehow I wasn’t able to comprehend how this was possible. Last time I was home I was in bed, I couldn’t sleep. I had many feelings and thoughts of desperation. Suddenly at 2am my mother enters my room (she’s never done that before) she sits beside me and tells me the same thoughts and feelings that I was experiencing. This left me quite confused. Are these my feelings at all? why do they feel so real to me?
I went into a deep healing meditation and I asked for guidance. I suddenly felt I was in my mother’s womb as a 4 -5 month baby. My mother had just found out that my father was cheating on her. I felt her pain right in my stomach. I felt like I wanted to throw up. Somehow I wanted to help my mother, but I couldn’t do anything. The feelings of sadness and desperation were getting stronger and I felt like life had been sucked out of me, I couldn’t bare it any longer. It was too painful. Suddenly my soul spoke to me: “You can let sadness overtake you or you can empower yourself” All I had to do was to choose in a situation where I felt there was no choice. I chose to empower myself. As soon as I made that decision I felt surrounded by a golden light. This golden light created a sacred boundary for my soul. I could not longer feel the pain. I was free from my mother’s pain and now I could truly help her by loving her and also by loving my father. I understood that this was their drama, not mine!
In my experience there are three types of boundaries: no boundary (like mine with my mother) the wall (where we push people away) and the empowered boundary.
1.- When we have no boundary there is no separation between other people’s feelings and thoughts. This can affect us in many ways: physically, emotionally, mentally and/or spiritually. When we have no boundary somehow we become a magnet for negativity.
2.- When we use the wall boundary we isolate ourselves as a way to protect ourselves. It is true that we keep negativity away but also we keep love away. With this boundary we can’t feel anything from the outside.
3.- When we use the boundary of empowerment we are in a place of self-love and self-acceptance. Therefore we don’t become attached to negativity and we connect with the true essence of our being “Pure Love”. When we empower ourselves our presence can empower others.